Are You a Perpetrator or Offender? Part One (Acting Out)
iStock IMG #1288257264

Are You a Perpetrator or Offender? Part One (Acting Out)

When people are hurt they sometimes respond with acting out behaviours. These choices actually make the situation worse for the individual and causes hurt for other people. Following are some examples of unhealthy things that people do knowingly or unknowingly:

1. Perfectionism - Many people are afraid of looking bad or making mistakes. They therefore go to the extremes of either doing nothing or doing things perfectly. Having such high standards and expectations can cause considerable stress for everyone in their work or personal realms.

2. Sex or romance - Being involved in unsafe or careless relationships places everyone at risk both emotionally and physically.

3. Work or busyness - Having a good work ethic is very different from being a workaholic. Often workaholics are avoiding things in their personal lives. Busyness is also cover people use to avoid facing their feelings or dealing with unresolved issues that have been festering.

4. Food and eating issues - Sometimes individuals who don't feel that they have any control in their lives so they use food as a way to gain control. Eating disorders and disordered eating can result. These are very upsetting for family or friends. They can also lead to hospitalizations and death.

5. Shopping and spending - We live in a society that promises buyers that they will find happiness through their purchasing. The reality is that those who spend more than they earn quickly face financial ruin. Relationship problems also result when people do not agree about the difference between "needs" and "wants" or try to hide what they buy.

6. Gambling and chemicals - Use of substances or activities for the wrong reasons can lead to addictions. They may temporarily mask negative feelings but they definitely do not improve them or the situations that caused them. In fact, over time, problems increase.

7. Exercise - How much is too much? When you are focusing so much on exercise that you are neglecting responsibilities in other areas of your life or are having negative physical issues, it is time to reassess your program.

8. Demanding, controlling or manipulating - Trying to force or trick other people into doing what you think is best will probably blow up in your face! Chill!

9. Shaming or blaming - Trying to make others feel badly or take responsibility for things that might not have been their fault can be very damaging.

10. Grandiosity or arrogance - If you think you know it all - think again! Your attitude will likely annoy others and certainly won't help you to build healthy relationships.

11. Aggressive non-verbal communication - Displaying your middle finger, rolling your eyes or shaking a fist at someone doesn't help you or the recipient. In fact, it just makes you look like an out-of-control idiot.

12. Excessive activities - If you are only focused on one or two things such cleaning, sleeping, gaming, videos or music and investing all your time and energy in them you likely are not enjoying balance in your life.

Do any of the above sound familiar? If so, make a good decision to make positive changes beginning today.

And now I would like to invite you to claim your Free Instant Access to a complimentary list of 10 Steps to Making Your Life an Adventure when you visit

From Dr. Linda Hancock, Registered Psychologist and Registered Social Worker


Check Out Part 2

Back to blog