You Are Not Alone

Conflict Relationships The Tenth Year


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In September I visited Highclere Castle, home of the Carnavon family, which is west of London near Newbury in Berkshire England. This beautiful site is where the drama series Downton Abbey is filmed.

Julian Fellowes who wrote the script for Downton Abbey, was recently interviewed regarding the popularity of the series that is now in its fifth season. I thought it was particularly interesting that he talked about how the fictitious Crawley family who supposedly run the estate are viewed by the villagers as being the models for all of them. They have a mistaken idea that the Crawley's are without problems but that isn't the case.

In fact, Mr. Fellowes believes that the reason everyone tunes in for every episode is because he has written trouble into the plots. Whether it is the upstairs characters who are wealthy and appear to be able to get anything they want or the downstairs staff who are primarily there to serve, everyone has experiences that need to be worked out. Because the issues are so relatable it is estimated that over 120 million people have watched it.

I agree with Fellowes who states that no matter where you go in the world, every single family has problems! Unfortunately, we sometimes think that we are the only ones who have faced a specific difficulty and perhaps we therefore should not talk about it.

The situations that Fellowes has written into Downton Abbey involve death, affairs, illness, poor judgment, financial difficulties, illegitimate birth, murder, lies, secrets, relationship problems, rudeness, rigidity, rape, arrogance and a number of other things that might be found in our own families. The characters involved sometimes try to keep things quiet but that only lasts for a time. Often, they end up turning to each other for help to sort things out or just to get support during the difficult time.

We are all human and that means that each of us has and continues to make poor choices. People usually don't lie to get into trouble but will often lie to get out of it. Friends and family members can do things that bring disappointment and hurt. Uncontrollable situations such as illness, natural disasters or economic downturns can be devastating.

There are some very important things to consider when it comes to trouble:

  1. Hiding it won't make it go away and might cause even more trouble
    2. Other people have gone through the same thing so there is always someone who understands
    3. There are many resources available to help with whatever situation you are facing

You do not need to be alone. Psychologists are trained to problem-solve. Why not call today to schedule an appointment with someone who is objective and able to help you through this?


Dr. Linda Hancock, the author of “Life is An Adventure…every step of the way” and “Open for Business Success” is a Registered Psychologist who has a private practice in Medicine Hat. She can be reached at 403-529-6877 or through email office@drlindahancock.com


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