Three Mistakes That People Make with Their Relationships

Three Mistakes That People Make with Their Relationships

Dr. Linda Hancock

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Dr. Hancock has written a regular weekly column entitled “All Psyched Up” for newspapers in two Canadian provinces for more than a dozen years. Over the years, her readers and clients have said that they have benefited from her common-sense solutions, wisdom, and sense of humour. Dr. Linda Hancock, the author of “Life is An Adventure…every step of the way” and “Open for Business Success” is a Registered Psychologist who has a private practice in Medicine Hat. She can be reached at 403-529-6877 or through email office@drlindahancock.com

Published

February 9 2009

Everyone seems to support the idea of having friends but not everyone knows how to keep their friendships healthy and growing. This article describes three mistakes that people do which harms or destroys their relationships.

NOT COMMUNICATING IN A HEALTHY MANNER - Communication requires effort. Assuming what the other person is thinking or doing can be very deceptive and can lead to incorrect conclusions. In order to understand the perspective of the other person, you must be willing to ask good questions, show respect while the person explains and then discuss the situation. Sometimes, miscommunication requires that the individuals forgive themselves and each other before they can move on. One of the consequences of poor communication is stress for not only the individuals but also for the friendship. The best thing to do to avoid this, is to have honest and frequent conversations with the other person...

TAKING IT FOR GRANTED - Often we don't miss something until it disappears. There is no maintenance in life. Things are either growing or stagnating and this concept applies to all things including friendships. When you take a relationship for granted it is usually because you have forgotten the value of it or have forgotten to value and treasure it. It is not wise to assume that a person or relationship will be there at our convenience. Being thankful for your friendship needs to be a constant attitude - present not only in your own mind and heart but also in the conversations you have with and about your friend.

LETTING IT DIE THROUGH NEGLECT - Friendships require an investment in your time and effort. Like a beautiful plant, it will die without attention and care. We all live in a busy world where there are many things that place demands on us. Career, family, and other obligations can steal the precious hours leaving us at the end of the day with a partially completed "to do" list. It is therefore important that you take deliberate steps to enhance your friendships. Schedule time in your calendar at the beginning of the month for your friends. Sharing a meal, enjoying a telephone conversation, or even writing a short note will provide food for the relationship. With a little creativity and effort there may be times that you can even invite several friends to meet each other and develop a healthy group of people who can encourage and support each other.

Communication, thankfulness, and commitment to invest in others will provide you and your friends with healthy and loyal relationships that can satisfy for a lifetime.

Why not take five minutes right now and contact someone who you call "friend"?