Movies can have a powerful influence and I frequently hear individuals who quote favourite lines from them. Unfortunately, however, not all of the things that we see or hear in the movies apply in everyday life.
Following are some of the messages from decades ago that we have heard, memorized and continue to quote:
- If you built it, he will come (Field of Dreams 1989) - Many businesses expand, renovate and expect that their efforts are going to not only attract customers but also increase profits. Unfortunately, they haven't studied the competition, made a good business plan and built their reputation with exceptional products and service so their investments will pay off.
Good intentions and lofty dreams do not always garner success.
Before building on false hopes, make sure that you have done good research and have a solid plan that involves the needs and dreams of others.
- Make My Day (Sudden Impact 1983) - As much as we would like others to ensure that we have what we need and want, it is really our own responsibility to make that happen. We need to plan our calendars and choose our activities in a manner that allows us to make good progress and feel contentment in all aspects of life. We also cannot control or run the life of others.
Develop and maintain good boundaries that indicate where you stop, and the other person begins!
- Love Means Never Having to say, "I'm Sorry" (Love Story 1970) - Wow! This is not helpful. Those who never apologize appear to others as arrogant and uncaring. They also set a tone that indicates they never need to have those around them take responsibility for errors in judgement and disrespectful treatment.
You do not have to take responsibility for everything that goes wrong in a situation or relationship, but you do need to recognize and apologize for the part that you played in the problem. Learning to say "I'm sorry": is a sign of maturity.
- There's no place like home (The Wizard of Oz 1939) - Some people don't have homes and others find that home is a place that is filled with unmet needs, chaos and abuse. Rather than it being a safe place where individuals can rest and be cared for in peace, home can be a hoarder's haven or one that produces negative thoughts and memories for years to come.
Unfortunately, children, are vulnerable and may feel helpless to instigate positive change, but adults have the ability to clean up the home, reduce tension and provide an environment that welcomes and encourages those who live there.
This week think about the unrealistic movie messages that you have been repeating to yourself and others. Maybe it's time to find some new ideas that would serve you better.