LET IT GO

Kenny Rogers used to sing “Know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em, know when to walk away, know when to run”.  The lyrics to “The Gambler” are wise and we can all learn lessons from them.

One of the hardest things, however, seems to be knowing when to fold ‘em – to let go.  Often, we are worried about pleasing people and therefore keep trying to do things to avoid what we assume might be negative judgement.  Sometimes we think that if we don’t persist, we will view ourselves as a failure or lose the respect of peers.

So, letting go is a tricky place to be.  We need to examine the costs and benefits as well as determine whether we can be confident in ourselves not only to make a good choice but to live with it.

I had two incidents in the past few weeks that I had to face when it came to holding on or letting go.

First of all, I received a message that I needed to move my car from my assigned underground parking space so that cleaning and new lines could be painted.  I was so disappointed to find that there were few options available and, when I tried to park in a small space, clipped the front fender on a cement post.  When I first looked, it didn’t seem like a lot of damage – no dent – just a scuff.

I asked a friend to give me advice, and he said to just leave it - as the material was plastic and wouldn’t rust.  Also, you had to look fairly hard to notice the damage.

But I took it to Cadillac for an estimate.  Without paint or labour, the quote was over $2,100.00 because the plastic saran-like coating covered the whole bumper.  The representative whispered to me with a recommendation that I take it to another shop that would be less expensive.

I talked to yet another friend, and she suggested an autobody shop but in the meantime, my daughter asked if I had filed an insurance claim.  I have never had an accident claim with them but after spending almost two hours on hold I gave up.  Paying the $500 deductible, driving for an appraisal, doing without my car while it was being fixed and then facing increased premiums was just not looking attractive to me.  I let it go!

Then, after arriving home from a trip to Costa Rica and realized that I had lost my whole set of keys, so I started out on a replacement project.  Fortunately, I had a backup remote control for the car as apparently, they are hundreds of dollars in cost.  I paid $100 for the remote to enter the underground parking space and $35 for the fob that gives me access to my building and facilities. 

The only thing I was missing was an extra key for my postal box which is located in the lobby.  I found a backup one which I wanted to duplicate so that I would have two.  Canadian Tire didn’t have the blanks.  Home Depot made keys that didn’t fit, and Rona just gave up.  I checked the Canada Post website and found out that for $29 I could have them drill a new lock and provide me with two keys. 

My conclusion was to use the keys that I now have in my possession and, God help me if I ever lose them again, to get Canada Post to do the $29.00 deal.  I let it go.

Some of you might have gone through the same two situations with angst, loss of sleep and continued effort.  To me, it just wasn’t worth my time, money and effort to try to fix things that will not bring world peace, feed the hungry, or make my life significantly better.

I can live with a few small scratches on my bumper and knowing that I only have one key to my postal box is something I can accept.

What is it in your life that you have let take over your thoughts and emotions?  

Maybe it is time for you to just let go!

Dr. Linda Hancock, the author of “Life is An Adventure…every step of the way” and “Open for Business Success” is a Registered Psychologist who has a private practice.   Visit  www.LindaHancock.com  or email her at  office@drlindahancock.com.