Just Say "No"

Personal Growth Self Improvement



Sometimes people get confused and think that they have to do what others want in order to be liked. Doing things for the wrong reason can result in finding that you have resentment and unmet personal needs. And, agreeing to do something will never guarantee that the relationship between you and the other person will be what you want.

It is important to know that you can say "no" without having to come up with excuses or feel guilty. In fact, learning to do this can save you from a lot of heartache and trouble, especially if they involve the following:

1. Inappropriate sexual advances - Sometimes you have to follow your "gut" instincts and set appropriate boundaries in place. If you do not want to be involved with someone then you need to make this very clear and then ensure that you are not giving mixed messages.

2. Deals that sound "too good to be true" - People who want your money can be very convincing. They will offer you dreams in exchange for your hard-earned cash. First of all, do not consider investing in something when the idea did not originate with you. Secondly, take time to think and consult with others before making any commitment.

3. Employers who keep demanding more from you - You deserve a good wage for a good day's work but also need to clearly communicate with your boss when expectations are unreasonable. If you can't keep up, be honest with yourself about whether you are measuring up. If you are, then ask your employer to identify priorities for you.

4. Children - Never let a child emotionally blackmail you. Of course, they will be unhappy at times when they don't get what they want but it is your job, as the adult, to provide an environment of routine and ensure their needs are met. Make sure that you don't confuse needs and wants.

5. Invitations - It can be flattering to be invited to serve on Boards and committees or be involved with charities, groups or social events. All of these, however, can steal time, energy and finances from other responsibilities in your life. Think balance!

6. Friends - Not everyone has or can afford some lifestyles. If you find that you are tired, running out of money or feeling guilty, it is time to re-evaluate!

7. Family members - Traditions from your childhood and expectations from relatives do not always give priority to your needs or the needs of your immediate family. Be respectful but firm about the ways that the "rules" need to change as circumstances in life change.

8. Overindulging - Drugs, alcohol, smoke and caffeine all interfere with good health. Be very careful about what and how much food you are also putting in your body.

The best thing about saying "no" is that you will have more time, energy, finances and health so you will be able to say "yes" regarding the things that you are really wanting to do!


Dr. Linda Hancock, the author of “Life is An Adventure…every step of the way” and “Open for Business Success” is a Registered Psychologist who has a private practice in Medicine Hat. She can be reached at 403-529-6877 or through email office@drlindahancock.com


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