I recently watched an interesting video in which Paul McCartney was asked about the break-up of the Beatles. He explained that this was a shock and when it occurred he didn't get out of bed for days. The interviewer asked if he had been worried about money. Paul' reply was powerful. He stated that he wasn't thinking about money at all. He was just trying to adjust to the fact that he was no longer a Beatle.
You see Paul's whole identity had been wrapped up in his role as part of a famous group. Everywhere the Beatles went there were throngs of screaming fans who would do anything just to be near the four rock stars. Their reputation and fame were recognized on a world-wide scale. For ten years they couldn't do anything wrong. John, George, Ringo and Paul shared a unique bonding and daily experiences that few ever even imagine. They wrote and made music together, travelled together and had enmeshed identifies that didn't offer any outside balance.
And then it was over!
Paul didn't know who he was outside of the group. His entire identity disappeared and he was helpless in knowing how to deal with that let alone move forward on his own.
Many of us get caught up in similar situations. We invest all of our time and energy into one job and then, when it is gone, think we are without value. Some individuals are left feeling empty when a relationship ends and there is nothing and no one to help them through the crisis. They have allowed the relationship and other person to define them. Those who identify themselves with riches are left personally destitute when their riches disappear.
Identity is about knowing inside that you have value no matter what is going on around you. It is not arrogance or narcissism but a healthy understanding that you are here for a reason and have a purpose. It is more about who you are and what you can give than about what you own.
If you want to improve your identity consider the following:
1. You are a unique individual unlike anyone else on earth. No one has your exact looks, skills or viewpoints.
2. There is always opportunity to change or improve yourself. You can learn new skills, adopt a most positive attitude, and set healthier goals.
3. Expanding and balancing your interests, relationships and activities will help you to build a solid foundation for the future so that if one thing ends you will not be in crisis.
4. Other people need and want you in their lives. It truly is better to give than to receive but when you give, you usually also receive.
5. One person can make a difference in the world. Just think about Mother Theresa, Mandela, Edison or even Dr. Seuss!
6. Fame does not necessarily define value or worth and, as experienced by Paul McCartney, can be fleeting.
7. Each day holds the opportunity to start over (or do better)!
I wish you the very best as you consider and improve your identity!
And now I would like to invite you to claim your Free Instant Access to a complimentary list of 10 Steps to Making Your Life an Adventure when you visit http://lindahancock.com
From Dr. Linda Hancock, Registered Psychologist and Registered Social Worker