Don't You Wish You Could Yell "Grow Up!" Sometimes?

Relationships



Do you ever watch the behaviours of another people and then feel frustrated because they seem to be immature and irresponsible? I bet there are times that you would love to yell "Grow Up"!

Well growing up isn't something that is easy to do and not everyone wants to put in the effort that will bring them into maturity.

I once heard an individual say that experience is something that you wish was happening to the other guy! But if you think about it, experience is what helps people to become more capable.

Most of us want to be respected by others and known as being a responsible individual but in order for that to happen you need several things:

 

    1. A problem or difficulty- When everything is going well, life is easy. You can just enjoy the moment and coast without having to do anything significant. When a problem occurs, however, someone needs to be able to deal with it in a timely fashion and appropriate manner. That requires both wisdom and action. You cannot protect your children or friends from problems or they will not learn how to handle anything when you are not there.
    2. Courage to face the truth- Some people run or hide when they are faced with difficulties. They put the mail in the drawer without opening it, avoid the people with whom they have been having relationship problems or stay away from the doctor's office despite their illness. This actually makes things worse because nothing is resolved and there is added shame for the cowardice displayed.
    3. Support without having someone solve everything for you- Everyone needs to have individuals in their lives who will help but if they depend on others to solve all their problems for them, then they will never learn skills and become strong. And if you try to solve the problems for other people, you will likely not succeed and may even be viewed as "meddling" or annoying. You cannot, for example, quit smoking or lose weight for another person. Make sure that you know where you stop and the other person begins.
    4. Practice - How do you get good at something? You do it over and over again until you have expertise. Remember when you first learned how to drive the car with a standard transmission? The first few days were horrible! But, within a couple of weeks with practice, you could display a good deal of proficiency. Problem solving is the same. At first it is difficult and awkward but, with practice, you improve rapidly and become competent.

 

Hopefully, this list will help you to develop patience with those who seem to be immature and irresponsible. If you recognize the fact that problems lead to growth, you will be able to encourage the other person to face the truth regarding their situation. Then support them as they learn how to make good decisions without trying to solve everything for them.

It might take a little time but remember, with time all green things grow!


Dr. Linda Hancock, the author of “Life is An Adventure…every step of the way” and “Open for Business Success” is a Registered Psychologist who has a private practice in Medicine Hat. She can be reached at 403-529-6877 or through email office@drlindahancock.com


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