It seems that the number of people who come to see me about affairs that one or both of them have been having is increasing. I see and hear the devastation and damage that is done when trust is broken and the desperation to find ways to try to repair it.
Usually an affair starts out with an attraction. Someone might feel good when in the presence of the other person and look forward to having this repeated over and over again. Sometimes an unmet or deep need to be cared about is filled. One encounter leads to another and another and another.
Associated with the affair is usually a lot of secrecy. Those who are involved do not want others to know what they are up to and therefore go to great lengths to hide their relationship and try to pretend that things are normal for them.
Affairs can be very brief and fall into the category of "one-night stand" or go on for years and years.
But, over time, it is almost inevitable that the truth will come out and when it does, the hurt begins. People can respond in a number of different ways. Some might decide to "get revenge" and actually set out to have an affair of their own. Others might head right to the divorce lawyer. Still others decide that they want to save the relationship and then find a professional to help them deal with the situation.
Right from the beginning, an affair can hurt your business. Often it takes your time and attention from the very things that will build and maintain your business. You might be away from the office more than what is reasonable. Perhaps you are spending money that is draining the business account. Even the fact that your affair is cloaked in secrecy takes energy that you might otherwise be investing in your business.
And, when you are working with clients, you mind find that your mind drifts to thoughts about when you are with the other person. That means that you do not have the focus that you need in order to offer the best to your clients.
Not all emotions are good. You might be worried about how your partner or children will react once they know the truth, and, when they do, of course there is a whole range of emotions that you will likely experience at that time.
You see, having an affair complicates your life and most likely will interfere or hurt your business. Be very careful about the choices that you make because chances are, they will affect more than the immediate and far more than your emotional life.