10 Things You Can Do to Prevent A Fight

Conflict Relationships


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So many times, a person says or does something that will escalate a situation. Following is a list of the "do nots" that will help you to enjoy more peace and less strife in your life:

  1. DO NOT bring up several issues at the same time. Focus on one thing that you want to resolve and stick to that one without introducing other things that are also bothering you.
  2. DO NOT try to talk about important or personal things when you are drinking or socializing with others. Airing your dirty laundry in front of others is not respectful of the audience, your partner or yourself. And alcohol can make the problem bigger or add other issues to the mix.
  3. DO NOT bring things up when the other person is in a situation that demands their time and attention. Set an appointment or have a regular weekly hour when you and your partner can discuss things after the children are in bed and chores are completed. And make sure that you both are committed to not answering the telephone or texting when you are talking!
  4. DO NOT drag the past into your arguments. You cannot change the past and rehearsing it over and over again will not bring either of you the freedom from youthful errors that you need. Focus on today and tomorrow.
  5. DO NOT try to please other people. There are always "shadow people" or "ghosts" in your life who love to tell others what to do. If you consult with them, you will have several opinions and find that they have too much information about your personal life and you have more advice than you could ever practically use. Remember, there are only two of you in this relationship and you are the ones who need to make peace.
  6. DO NOT think that you can carry on an argument through text messaging. It is difficult enough if not impossible to even have a conversation through this technology. Short sentences made up of abbreviated words can be easily misunderstood as they do not have a "tone".
  7. DO NOT bring up the same issues over and over again, thinking that eventually you will "win". Everyone loses when old issues that cannot be resolved surface repeatedly.
  8. DO NOT let your emotions rule your speech. Immature people point the finger in blame, call names, and use put downs. If you listen to your arguments and realize that you sound like two grade seven students, it is time to make some serious changes!
  9. DO NOT let baggage from past relationships enter this relationship. Not all men (or women) are the same and just because someone hurt you in the past, doesn't mean that this person will hurt you. Trust until the other person proves that s/he is not trustworthy.
  10. DO NOT agree to something and then go behind the back of your partner to do something different. Your actions will not remain secret, no matter how hard you try and, in the end, everyone will be upset (AGAIN)!

There is one extremely important thing that you can do that will likely turn your whole relationship around. Imagine what would happen and how you would treat the other person if you knew that s/he would die tonight. That little technique should make a huge difference!


Dr. Linda Hancock, the author of “Life is An Adventure…every step of the way” and “Open for Business Success” is a Registered Psychologist who has a private practice in Medicine Hat. She can be reached at 403-529-6877 or through email office@drlindahancock.com


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