Articles — The Ninth Year(42)

Is This Healthy?

Dr. Linda Hancock Other Relationships Relationships The Ninth Year

It doesn't matter whether it is marriage, friendship or causal relationship there are certain things that are important to observe in order to ensure that what you are involved in is healthy. Following are some ways to assess the health how you are doing: Mutual investment - Some people are takers and others are givers. If you are always the giver, you might soon burn out or begin feeling resentful. A healthy relationship is one where both people give and take. Honesty - When people lie to you then you don't really know who they are and if you aren't...

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How Is It Supposed to Be?

Dr. Linda Hancock Christmas Holidays Home and Family The Ninth Year

Dr. Jenn Berman is a psychotherapist who has a radio show that I listen to at times. Recently she put a posting on her Facebook page that states: "What screws us up most in life is the picture in our head of how it is supposed to be." So many live by "should", "have to," and "must" ideas. These, however, form the bars of our own cages and we are trapped by them. As we enter into December it is especially important to consider the above quote. How do you think Christmas "is supposed to be?" Do you think that...

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Miracles

Dr. Linda Hancock Christmas Holidays Home and Family The Ninth Year

The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines the word "miracle" as: "an extraordinary event manifesting divine intervention in human affairs." We use the word miracle in a number of ways. Sometimes individuals who have been extremely ill suddenly get better without any explanation that can be identified or named. The change in their health occurs so rapidly that everyone is pleased but, at the same time, shocked. A miracle! Researchers often invest years of their lives trying to find a cure for diseases or an immunization to prevent plagues. And then, all of a sudden, they figure it out and the discovery seems...

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Boxing Day and Tradition

Dr. Linda Hancock Boxing Day Christmas Holidays Home and Family The Ninth Year

There isn't any consensus about the origins of the secular holiday that occurs on December 26th. As far back as the Middle Ages, people have been concerned about caring for the poor and the practice then was to place an Alms box inside the church to collect donations for them. Some believe that the name Boxing Day was tied to the idea of the Alms box. In Roman times and at the beginning of the Christian era, metal boxes were placed outside of churches to collect special offerings for the Feast of St. Steven which is also recognized on December...

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True Peace

Dr. Linda Hancock Holidays Home and Family Remembrance Day The Ninth Year

Every year I write an article for Canada's Remembrance Day which is on November 11th. This time I thought I would write a poem instead: Remembrance Day: a time when weRecall how others fought.Gave up their homes, their health, their livesSo freedom could be bought.(Because we all want peace.) We send our troops to foreign landsAnd hope they'll stop new fightsOr overthrow dictatorshipsSecuring people's rights.(Because we all want peace.) Disasters come and people needSupport in many ways.We send the solders, food and medsTo help them through this phase.(Because we all want peace.) We volunteer for charityAnd give our money tooWith...

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Friends Are Waiting

Dr. Linda Hancock Other Relationships Relationships The Ninth Year

My paternal grandfather, Robert Hancock, was an orphan who was sent to Canada by the Dr. Barnardo organization when he had just turned eleven years of age. He was a wonderful man and I was named after him (my middle name is Roberta). Three years ago I began doing research and traced the family tree back to 1642 Cornwall. So, on September 5th my daughter, Kristal, and I headed to England to view the area where our ancestors had lived. Unfortunately, many of the addresses we had traced led to patches of grass where buildings had once stood. One street...

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I'm So Thankful

Dr. Linda Hancock More from Self Improvement Self Improvement The Ninth Year

My daughter and I recently returned from a trip to England and even though it was fun and interesting there were so many things that I missed about home. Some of them were rather trivial whereas others had a fairly major impact on our trip. Following are some reminders of things that we take for granted in Canada that were missing in England:   The highway system - Cornwall was particularly challenging. Shoulders are rare and the lanes are so narrow that at times the car was scratched by brambles! When there wasn't room to pass an oncoming car, one of...

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I'm Heading to England

Dr. Linda Hancock Home and Family Other Home and Family The Ninth Year

When you read this article, I will be on the first day of my big trip to the United Kingdom. In 1886 my paternal grandfather was born in Hammersmith to a single mother. England was troubled economically and socially at the time. Jack the Ripper and the plague threatened its population. It was what Charles Dickens called "The best of times and the worst of times". His works entitled "Oliver Twist" and "David Copperfield" painted the picture of how difficult life was for everyone back then - but especially for the children. Many individuals rose up in England to help...

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The Personality Disorders

Dr. Linda Hancock Health and Fitness Mental Health The Ninth Year

Have you ever met someone who seems to have thinking patterns that are distorted, emotional responses that are problematic, lack of impulse control and interpersonal difficulties? Although it I important not to try to diagnose this person, it is a good idea to know that there are ten different personality disorders and it is not uncommon for someone to have more than one of them. Cluster A personality disorders are described as "odd, eccentric" and include: Paranoid - This person has a great deal of suspiciousness and distrusts others. Because of their fear of being harmed, they try to protect themselves...

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The Benefits of Having a Funeral

Dr. Linda Hancock Other Relationships Relationships The Ninth Year

On July 11 my sister died. Six days before this we all attended the wedding of her only son and now we were faced with yet another long trip to attend the funeral. You see Deb had lived for almost four decades in a small farming community in the southeastern area of Saskatchewan, very close to the Manitoba and United States borders. That meant an eight-hour drive from my home and eleven hours from my daughter's. Two trips meant that in less than three weeks I spent over thirty-four hours in the backseat of my son-in-law's truck! Often I hear...

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Lessons I Learned As a Business Owner

Dr. Linda Hancock Business Solo Professionals The Ninth Year

Many people believe that all it takes to be successful is to get a degree. Not true! If you are going to operate a private practice as a professional you need to learn some basic business principles. Following are some of the things to remember as a business owner:   The buck stops with you - Take responsibility for your business. If there are problems, learn to solve them. If you are doing well, celebrate. The bottom line is that you cannot blame others or give all the credit to others. Focus on billable hours - It is easy to get involved...

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It's A Different World

Dr. Linda Hancock Business Other Business The Ninth Year

It can be very annoying for people who have a good work ethic to find themselves in an environment where the rules seem to have changed. Each week I hear people complain about the differences between the way that they were trained to be good employees and the traits of those who have recently entered the workplace.   Sense of Entitlement - Author Bill Eddy claims that over the past few decades we have focused on teaching our children to feel good about themselves without teaching them skills or ways to give back to others. The result is a self-centeredness that...

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Stumble Forward

Dr. Linda Hancock Inspirational Self Improvement The Ninth Year

I recently watched a program about Samuel Clemens, the author who is perhaps better known as Mark Twain. Most people have read two of his most popular books in which he created the fictional characters of Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn. Clemens grew up in Missouri and spent time on the Mississippi River surrounded by an environment that allowed slavery. He always wrote what he knew and these experiences were therefore prevalent in his books. Clemens worked as a typesetter and as a riverboat pilot in his youth. He later became a journalist who used his sense of humour to...

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Reality Television

Dr. Linda Hancock More from Self Improvement Self Improvement The Ninth Year

Every time you turn on your television you can watch episodes of individuals who are obese, in debt, ill or having relationship difficulties. Often there is a therapist or expert who is responsible to solve all the problems of those involved within a thirty-minute timeframe. I have been curious as to why these shows are so popular and have come up with a few reasons:   You realize you are not alone - There is some comfort in knowing that other people have experienced the same problems that you have. This is one of the powerful aspects of going to group...

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Writing Things Down

Dr. Linda Hancock More from Self Improvement Self Improvement The Ninth Year

Often clients tell me that their brains never shut down and because of this, they feel tired, overwhelmed and frustrated. Sometimes their thoughts are about tasks that need to be done or unresolved issues. They lose sleep and find that they are plagued by worries. There is a good strategy that can help you. Writing things down:   Minimizes the overwhelm - When people state they have "a thousand things" in their head, I suggest that we work together to write them all down. Usually the "thousand things" become a list with less than seven items on it. You see, it...

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The Psychology of Marketing

Dr. Linda Hancock Marketing Social Media & Web The Ninth Year

My daughter and I are leaving for England in early September. We have therefore been preparing an itinerary and booking accommodations for the trip. Because of the distance, we are using the internet to do much of the research. Some websites are intriguing and capture our attention for a great deal of time. Others offer very little of interest and we cannot find helpful information so leave quickly. Throughout the process I have learned a great deal about internet marketing and customer service that can be implemented by any business:   Web presence - Do not assume that people will find...

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Fight Fairly!

Dr. Linda Hancock Other Relationships Relationships The Ninth Year

Your brain has two sides, each with specific tasks to perform. The right-hand side has a very small region called the amygdala which does many things including producing emotional reactions. The left-hand side of the brain is primarily for problem solving. Between the two is the Corpus Callosum which is like a bridge that connects the two sides. Unfortunately, many people tend to stay on the right side of the brain and are so emotionally that they are unable to easily problem-solve. The Corpus Callosum does not strengthen because there is little traffic back and forth and so emotional reactions...

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Ten Important Things To Teach Your Teen

Dr. Linda Hancock Home and Family Parenting The Ninth Year

The word graduation is usually defined as the receiving or conferring of an academic degree or diploma. Most of us, however, use the term to refer to times in life when we have completed something of which we can be proud. Often a child graduates, leaves home and continues life in another location. As a parent, there are things that you can teach them before that day comes to help them throughout the rest of their lives. Be sure they know how to:   Greet people respectfully - I have never heard anyone complain when they are greeted by someone who...

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Graduation Wisdom for All!

Dr. Linda Hancock More from Self Improvement Self Improvement The Ninth Year

In the past month I have been part of four graduation experiences. I noticed that similar advice was offered by the speakers and started thinking that each of us could benefit by following what was recommended.   Use what you have learned - Each day life offers us experiences that help us to grow. Sometimes they are through formal training or educational programs. More often, however, they come from watching others, sharing information with a friend or learning a strategy through self-study. Use it or lose it! Surround yourself with positive people - Those who encourage us and think about things in...

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The Pre-Nuptial Agreement

Dr. Linda Hancock Other Relationships Relationships The Ninth Year

We are in the wedding season when starry-eyed brides and grooms are eager to exchange their vows. Weeks or even months of planning and thousands of dollars have been invested into the one day that they hope will form beautiful memories and impress the guests. They make the promises that include "for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part" knowing that together they will probably encounter more of the better, the richer and the health. They are convinced that even if the worse, the poorer and the sickness might appear...

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Change Your Career - Change Your Life!

Dr. Linda Hancock More from Self Improvement Self Improvement The Ninth Year

My youngest son was manager of a large trucking company. He had been involved in the industry for several years but just didn't think that it was exactly where he should be. He had such a good way with people and everyone told him that he would be a wonderful mediator. The problem was that he had a family, mortgage and bills. It would be difficult to give up a good salary and start over again. And besides, he hadn't been in school for seventeen years. For two or three years, Mark thought about things and finally decided that it...

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It's Good To Say "No"

Dr. Linda Hancock More from Self Improvement Self Improvement The Ninth Year

So often people agree to do things that they really don't want to do. They may be afraid that if they don't agree, they will not fit in or actually be rejected by others. This can be particularly difficult when family members are involved. There are many times, however, that saying "no" will protect you from being hurt or becoming resentful.   Co-signing a loan or lending money to others - My dad was a Credit Union Manager who stated that it is never a good idea to do this. If you have enough money that you want to give it...

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The Power of Words - Unforgettable

Dr. Linda Hancock Communications The Ninth Year

We laughed about how it sounded like the beginning of a bad joke. A psychologist, therapist and suicide prevention educator headed to Nanaimo for a mental health break. But it was true! Two of my friends and I decided that a week on Vancouver Island would be fun. We didn't realize that this would involve us in lots of adventures. The first was when our airplane got halfway to Calgary and then had to turn back to Medicine Hat. It wasn't necessarily the wisest thing for the pilot to announce that we had lost one engine and all of the...

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Technology Addiction

Dr. Linda Hancock Addictions Self Improvement The Ninth Year

Call me old-fashioned if you wish but I am really sick and tired of the way that people have become addicted to their cellphones. When I grew up the only time we might hear from a family member who lived out of town was on Sunday when the long-distance rates were reduced for the three-minute conversation. And if we missed the call, we didn't even know it because there wasn't such a thing as voice mail. I never answer the phone at the office and most of the time don't know where I have left my cellphone. Only a handful...

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Simplify Your Life

Dr. Linda Hancock More from Self Improvement Self Improvement The Ninth Year

If you want a measure for how your life is going, begin by taking a good objective look at your environment. Those who are surrounded by clutter and disorganization usually feel psychologically overwhelmed and stressed. But it doesn't have to be that way. You shouldn't have to waste time looking for things or invest a whole day just to feel like you have cleaned up. Following are some hints to help you get back into control: 1. Get rid of stuff - If you haven't worn it or used it in the past year, then it is time to eliminate...

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