Articles — The Fourth Year(38)

I Hate My Mother In Law!

Dr. Linda Hancock Christmas Holidays Home and Family The Fourth Year

As the Christmas season approaches each year, I begin hearing clients tell tales of past disappointing holidays, resulting resentments and their fears about the upcoming family gathering. Most of the themes involve poor relationships, differing values or inappropriate behaviours. "I hate my mother-in-law". "Uncle Joe will be drunk and embarrass everyone". "My nephew will spend the whole day staring at his iPod". "This is the first Christmas since Grandma died and everyone will be miserable". "It's crazy that mom expects us all to stay at the farm when there isn't room for us". "I hope the police aren't called to...

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The Best Christmas Yet!

Dr. Linda Hancock Christmas Holidays Home and Family The Fourth Year

What would have to happen to make this the best Christmas yet for: A hungry child in Africa Someone who just lost a job An adolescent who has run away from home A prisoner on death row Someone who is homeless The family that is in the middle of an ugly divorce A person grieving the recent loss of a partner An addict who desires freedom A friendless soul who feels alone A person who suffers from a debilitating disease Someone who is contemplating suicide A soldier on the battlefield The family that just declared bankruptcy A senior recognizing s/he...

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The Invasion of Social Media into Our Lives

Dr. Linda Hancock Social Media & Web The Fourth Year

Just when you think that you have upgraded your computer and know how to make it work for you, there is something new in technology world. And with it comes a whole new language! Let's just talk for a few minutes about one of the newest social media phenomena called TWITTER. You become involved by signing up for a free account at Twitter.com. This allows you to upload a picture of yourself and enter information into your profile. You have to consider what and how much you want to share with the world because once it is on the internet...

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Are Your Boundaries Healthy Ones?

Dr. Linda Hancock Other Relationships Relationships The Fourth Year

Building relationships with other people is a complex process.  Over the years I have noticed that individuals fall into one of  three very different categories based on the boundaries that they have developed and protected. RIGID PROTECTION - Imagine building a strong and rigid wall around your heart and life.  Some people who are afraid or very private tend to keep to themselves and not attempt or allow others to become close to them - either physically or emotionally.  Deep down they may actually crave contact feel quite lonely but their behaviours interfere with this. OPEN VULNERABILITY - Some people...

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We Are Never Disappointed Unless We Have Expectations

Dr. Linda Hancock Goal Setting Self Improvement The Fourth Year

So often I deal with individuals who are hurt, upset or disappointed about something that has or hasn't happened as expected.  A failed relationship, financial loss or wayward child can rock one’s world!  When we are disappointed, it is usually because we had expectations that were not met.  Sometimes we risk our happiness on one or more situations that are totally out of our control.  Perhaps we think that if someone else will change their behaviours, we will be happy.  Or if we pass that exam.  Or if we won the lottery!  Well, life doesn't work that way.  People change their behaviours...

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Halloween - What Does it Mean to You and Your Family?

Dr. Linda Hancock Halloween Holidays Home and Family The Fourth Year

When I was a little girl, in small town Saskatchewan, Halloween was something we looked forward to celebrating. We planned for weeks ahead about our costume. Would it be beautiful princess, cowboy, or ghost? The school party would involve a parade from classroom to classroom where we would enjoy seeing how others were dressed. My mother would haul boxes of potato chips into the back kitchen and when the supplies were depleted, would resort to giving out dimes, fruit or anything else she had that was appropriate. Children were required to sing a song infront of my parents before they...

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Satisfying Your Personal and Professional Needs - Having Family Work With You

Dr. Linda Hancock Business Solo Professionals The Fourth Year

There are both advantages and disadvantages to having family members work with you in your business. One of my dreams has been to build a business in which all of my family members have an opportunity to use their skills and gifts if they choose to do so. At this time I have two of three children and four of six grandchildren on staff. My daughter is my business assistant and marketing director all of which is done virtually as she lives three hours from my office. My older son does all my technological work, graphic design and accompanies me...

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Lincoln Speaks to Leaders

Dr. Linda Hancock Book Reviews Business Other Book Reviews The Fourth Year

This book was written by two authors who each present a different perspective to the work which is sub-titled "20 Powerful Lessons for Today's Leaders from America's 16th President. Gene Griessman has performed in his one-act play "Lincoln Live" since 1990.  His contributions to the book consist of words written in the first tense which are presented as though they came directly from Abraham Lincoln himself.  The interesting twist is that he combines the history of Lincoln's day with events from modern day. Pat Williams, the NBA Senior Vice-President of the Orlando Magic sports team, translates the topics and themes...

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Simple Things You Can Do to Improve Your Life

Dr. Linda Hancock Self Improvement Success The Fourth Year

So many people talk with me about the "big" things that are stressful. Often, it is the "little" things, however, that either contribute to the problems or prevent the individual from coping with them. Following are ten things that you can do to keep the stress in your life to a minimum: Get enough sleep - When you are tired, you lost perspective and can make errors in judgment. Having a regular bedtime that you honor (even on weekends) should provide at least eight hours for sleep. Eat three nutritious meals a day - Skipping breakfast is the same as...

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Where Do You Invest Your Time?

Dr. Linda Hancock Self Improvement The Fourth Year Time Management

Often, I hear people complain about not having enough time to do certain things. We all have 24 hours a day. If you are willing to be honest about where you are investing your time, you will likely find creative ways to do the things you are now missing. Think about places that might be eating up valuable hours: Television - We are now in the world of 24-hour broadcasting and ongoing news services. The media has a goal of capturing your attention and is therefore good at it. You can feel mesmerized and lose track of time as you...

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Things You Should Think About and Do Before You Leave a Relationship

Dr. Linda Hancock Conflict Relationships The Fourth Year

Often when emotions run high people say and do things that they regret afterwards. There are many things that would help you and your family to avoid the issues that often lead to separation and divorce. 1. Never threaten divorce - The boy who cried wolf ended up not being believed when the wolf did show up. When you say that you will get a divorce, your children are frightened and problems remain unsolved. Never threaten you spouse to try to get attention or hoping that things will improve. This method doesn't work. 2. Don't leave a relationship unless you plan to stay...

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One of the Best Choices You Can Make

Dr. Linda Hancock Home and Family The Fourth Year

Over the past few weeks I have stayed at home far more than in the past. The result of this has been a number of benefits that I might otherwise have missed. Staying home allows you to: 1. Save Money - You don't need to purchase a ticket or fill your gas tank to drive to an event. Cooking at home can also cost a great deal less than eating in a restaurant and doing so allows you to create new recipes or old favourites. 2. Enjoy the uniqueness offered by your home - Perhaps you live near a park...

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Heart Matters

Dr. Linda Hancock Biographies Memoirs Book Reviews The Fourth Year

Adrienne Clarkson, the twenty-sixth Governor General of Canada, wrote this memoir in 2006.  It documents not only her own personal story but also serves as a public chronicle of historical and political life from her birth until its writing. The author was born in Hong Kong as the second of two children.  Despite her young age, she recounts memories of the family escaping from Japanese rule as immigrants to Canada.  Their two-month journey is described in great detail and the reader cannot help but understand how difficult it would be to experience the hardships.  But the trip was only a...

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The Power of Having Good Support in Your Life

Dr. Linda Hancock Friendship Relationships The Fourth Year

I just got back from the golf course. No, I have not turned over a new leaf and decided to take up the sport. In fact, I had to use a map to find the place! The reason that I chose to do this "not like Linda" activity is because I had arranged to meet with a fellow-columnist Trevor Moore. He is a golf pro and magician who, like me, has a wide range of interests outside of his normal career. Over the years I have found that it is so important to have a group of friends, supports and...

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Three Tips for Making Grocery Shopping Easier

Dr. Linda Hancock The Fourth Year Uncategorized

My grandson is visiting and was surprised at how easy it was to purchase groceries the last couple of times that he was here.  Following are tips that will make the job fun and easy. Have a list - I always write my grocery list in groups.  For example, I have columns for each of the following - dairy, bakery, meat, produce, dry goods, paper products, beverages, deli etc.  This method helps you to save legwork and prevents you from forgetting to purchase something that you really need. Make shopping a fun adventure which guests can enjoy.  When my daughter's family...

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See You at the Top

Dr. Linda Hancock Book Reviews Self Help The Fourth Year

Since the day that Zig Ziglar personally autographed his 1975 writing of See You At the Top for me, I have treasured this book.  At the time it was in its seventh printing with We Believe, Inc. of Dallas Texas and sold for $7.95   The original published title was "Biscuits, Fleas and Pump Handles" Zig Ziglar, the positive-thinking individual who is renown for his public speaking presented the concepts in this book for conferences and corporate training sessions world-wide.  His strong southern accent and humourous story-telling style are captured in the written word which holds your attention throughout.  See You At the Top encourages...

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Three Mistakes That People Make in Domestic Violence Partnerships

Dr. Linda Hancock Domestic Violence Relationships The Fourth Year

There are several things that cause the cycle of abuse to spin around and around.  Three of these are the things that the person who is being abused does.  This article describes the three biggest mistakes that the victim believes which holds them emotionally and physically. Three of the dangerous mistakes that victims make are: Minimizing- When a person uses terms such as "difficult situation" instead of "physical abuse", the crime seems to be less serious.  Often people who are abused state "It only happened a few times” or focus on the abuser's strengths rather than the violence.  Domestic violence...

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Don't Be Fooled by What a Person Promises

Dr. Linda Hancock Commitment Relationships The Fourth Year

So often we hear individuals make promises about their devotion and commitment but later become disillusioned or disappointed that they do not follow through.  This article examines the factors that lead to a dysfunctional cycle within a relationship when couples "talk the talk" but do not "walk the walk". THE PROMISER:  When Paris Hilton was incarcerated, one of the television programs interviewed a judge and the host asked "Do you think that Paris will change now that she has become a born-again Christian in jail?"  The wise judge responded, "Everyone is born-again their first week in jail".  When people are...

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Three Mistakes That People Make with Their Relationships

Dr. Linda Hancock Friendship Relationships The Fourth Year

Everyone seems to support the idea of having friends but not everyone knows how to keep their friendships healthy and growing.  This article describes three mistakes that people do which harms or destroys their relationships. NOT COMMUNICATING IN A HEALTHY MANNER - Communication requires effort.  Assuming what the other person is thinking or doing can be very deceptive and can lead to incorrect conclusions.  In order to understand the perspective of the other person, you must be willing to ask good questions, show respect while the person explains and then discuss the situation.  Sometimes, miscommunication requires that the individuals forgive themselves and...

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Ten Things That You Can Do to Become a Better Friend

Dr. Linda Hancock Friendship Relationships The Fourth Year

  So often I hear people talk about how they want to have good friends but don't seem to consider how they could become a good friend. This article outlines ten things that you can do to become a better friend to others:   LISTEN - Everyone needs an audience - some more than others. When you listen to another person, you are paying a compliment to them because it shows that you are interested in what they have to say and respect to the right they have to say it. MAINTAIN CONFIDENTIALITY - Friends do not share information that...

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Three Things We Can Promote Which Would Improve the World

Dr. Linda Hancock Inspirational Self Improvement The Fourth Year

The other day one of my clients stated that she would like to teach the three "R"s to people. I immediately began to wonder what had lead her to this stance as she wasn't a teacher my thoughts were that she was referring to "reading, 'riting and 'rithmetic". I was surprised when she went on to explain that her three "R"s consisted of "Respect", "Responsibility" and "Return to Common Sense". My client demonstrated some wisdom and I support her view from the following perspective: 1. Respect needs to be a global attitude that includes respect for self, others, and the...

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Four Different Techniques To Deal With Life

Dr. Linda Hancock Self Improvement Techniques The Fourth Year

Frequently I help clients to learn about four different ways of approaching life and how each of these either helps the individual or slows their progress. Following are summaries of each of these. 1. PASSIVE - Imagine that your life is like a football field. There aren't any boundaries to protect the turf which takes a beating as players and fans run onto it after the game. Those individuals who are passive, usually either don't know their personal needs or don't have skills to ensure that they are met. They allow other people to run all over them and tend...

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What is a Chinook and How Does it Help Us Psychologically?

Dr. Linda Hancock News & Society The Fourth Year Weather

When people from warm countries hear me mention that I live in Canada, I am usually confronted about questions regarding winter and freezing temperatures. It seems that those who have not been to my country assume that all of Canada experiences the weather that is often portrayed in movies for being extreme conditions that greatly limit mobility. I remember a trip to Florida where a lady innocently asked, "Do you travel by dog sleds?" and I jokingly replied: "When the weather's good". I live in Medicine Hat, Alberta. It is a city of about 60,000 residents which is approximately 20...

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Do the Bureaucrats Really Understand Enough to Try to Help in a Helpful Way?

Dr. Linda Hancock Health and Fitness Multiple Sclerosis The Fourth Year

Today I talked with my sister who was very upset. Debbie stated that the Canadian government had set up a new program for disabled in which savings by the person would be matched. The problem, however, was that the only financial institution that would set up the account was the Bank of Montreal (now known as BMO). Deb and her family live on a farm that is several miles south of a village in Saskatchewan that has only a Credit Union. Because she isn't mobile and hasn't left the house in over two years, she didn't know how she would...

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The Problem is That You Don't Have Control

Dr. Linda Hancock Health and Fitness Multiple Sclerosis The Fourth Year

Over the years I have watched my sister fight Multiple Sclerosis.  There have been various stages and each brought its own set of challenges. Long before we had a diagnosis, Debbie struggled with unexplainable physical problems.  It began over two decades ago, when she experienced a problem with her vision.  The doctor thought this had been caused by the reflection of sunlight on the hood of the car while she was driving.  At unexpected times, a spot would interfere with her vision and she would have no control over this. A few years later, when their son arrived, Debbie was very worried...

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