Articles — Personal Growth

The Blame Game: How to Stop It

Dr. Linda Hancock Personal Growth Self Improvement

The Blame Game: How to Stop It

When things don't go the way that you expected or hoped for, one of the first things that you might want to do is find someone to blame. Is it your employer's fault that you got a poor performance review? Are your children driving you crazy? Do you think that what your parents said and did years ago is the reason that you don't reach your potential? Today I was in the elevator with a young man who told me that he was moving a new resident into our condo building. He followed up by saying "I am actually a...

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Just Say "No"

Dr. Linda Hancock Personal Growth Self Improvement

Just Say "No"

Sometimes people get confused and think that they have to do what others want in order to be liked. Doing things for the wrong reason can result in finding that you have resentment and unmet personal needs. And, agreeing to do something will never guarantee that the relationship between you and the other person will be what you want. It is important to know that you can say "no" without having to come up with excuses or feel guilty. In fact, learning to do this can save you from a lot of heartache and trouble, especially if they involve the...

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Boring Is Good

Dr. Linda Hancock Personal Growth Self Improvement

Boring Is Good

We live in a society that seems to be performance and crisis driven. Everyone I talk with seems to be tired and when asked "How are you?" replies with "I've been so busy". I remember growing up in small-town Saskatchewan where the stores were closed on Sunday and Monday. We didn't have night shopping. Our closets were small but held all of our clothes. People worked at one job and then went home to sit at a table where they would talk and share supper with their family members. There were a couple of channels on the television which went...

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Who Lives on Your Shoulder?

Dr. Linda Hancock Personal Growth Self Improvement

Who Lives on Your Shoulder?

Many years ago, I had a client who had been involved in a very traumatic incident at work. Because of this, she was horribly afraid of the idea of ever holding a job again. Her psychiatrist had prescribed medications to help her with the anxiety that had grown into a strong phobia. She had short-term disability benefits and supports from a job placement organization and she met with me for weekly therapy sessions, but nothing seemed to be helping. I remember when she was told that the insurance company had found her an entry-level position in the office of an...

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Criticism - Everyone Has an Opinion

Dr. Linda Hancock Personal Growth Self Improvement

Criticism - Everyone Has an Opinion

I am Chair of a large provincial organization and every year we have a Conference. The Executive Assistant who sets up her desk in the lobby of the hotel where the Conference is held states that she spends most of her time listening to complaints from the attendees. Some state that they are too cold. Within minutes others state that they are too hot. Many state that we are harming the environment by printing materials while others state that it is unprofessional of us to send speaker handouts to them electronically. There are those who want the Conference to be...

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Watching Your Thoughts Is the Starting Point

Dr. Linda Hancock Personal Growth Self Improvement

Watching Your Thoughts Is the Starting Point

´╗┐Margaret Thatcher was the first female Prime Minister of England and held that position from 1979 to 1990. Her story was recently portrayed in a movie entitled "The Iron Lady" starring Meryl Streep. One of the most powerful scenes, I believe, was when Mrs. Thatcher was talking with her physician after being sent to him by family and staff who believed that she was losing her mind. The doctor began asking Mrs. Thatcher about how she was feeling, and she quickly responded that she thought people care more about feelings than about thoughts and ideas. She then added: "Watch your...

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You Can Laugh or You Can Cry

Dr. Linda Hancock Personal Growth Self Improvement

You Can Laugh or You Can Cry

So many times, I wished that God had put me on his Board of Directors. You see, I thought that I was wise and knew what would be best for me. I also believed that if God really loved and cared for me that He would honour my ideas. Well, after some time had passed, I usually had opportunity to see how things actually turned out better than my original plans. Over the years I have therefore learned to be thankful that I have never been invited to be His Board member! And I've learned to trust that things will...

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How Do People Do Well When Their Circumstances Are Horrible?

Dr. Linda Hancock Personal Growth Self Improvement

How Do People Do Well When Their Circumstances Are Horrible?

Sometimes people who seem to have all the advantages of life make terrible choices and end up in a situation where they do not do well. Others, who seem to have everything against them, rise to the top of a group and become role models for others despite their past. What makes the difference? We might not be able to single out one specific factor that can be given sole credit for the success. Each individual requires certain personal characteristics that help them to overcome difficulties in their lives. Characteristics, like determination, belief that they can have a better life,...

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You Get What You Ask For!

Dr. Linda Hancock Personal Growth Self Improvement

You Get What You Ask For!

Have you ever noticed that people often seem to be able predict situations and or events that will happen to them in the future? Clients frequently make statements and then are surprised when the things that they don't want (but talk about) do happen. Those who claim "I can't sleep" are annoyed and surprised by the fact that their insomnia occurs year after year after year. Your brain is just like a giant and amazingly powerful computer. Think about what happens when you type words into an internet search engine. You get what you want! Type the word "psychologist" into...

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If You Don't Like Your Life Reinvent Yourself!

Dr. Linda Hancock Personal Growth Self Improvement

If You Don't Like Your Life Reinvent Yourself!

A few years ago, I went with a couple of friends on a trip... One day, as we walked down a Victoria street one of them said "Linda, you are always reinventing yourself! I wasn't sure that this was a compliment but, with inquiry discovered that she very much admired this. So often I hear people complain about their lives and how everyone else is a problem. I challenge them to imagine what life would be like if they moved to another country where they didn't know one person. Of course, no one in that country would know their history...

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