Articles — Parenting(39)

Parenting During A Pandemic

Dr. Linda Hancock Home and Family Pandemic Parenting The Fifteenth Year

Parenting During A Pandemic

The pandemic has changed all our lives and for the last few weeks family members have been together at home due to self-isolation requirements. I have noticed that those who are experiencing a great deal of frustration are parents of school-aged children and their teachers who are not allowed to be together in school settings. Following are some of the concerns that I am hearing:   Many children do not have established routines and are sleeping in so miss their internet sessions with their teachers. Parents do not know how to help with the lessons assigned, especially the math. Relationships...

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Helping a Child To Do Well

Dr. Linda Hancock Home and Family Parenting The Eleventh Year

Helping a Child To Do Well

Well, it's time for a new school term. Most parents and grandparents think that it is up to a child to do well in class and on their report cards. They often don't recognize, however, how their own actions contribute to the child's progress. Here are some things that you can do to help your child succeed: 1. Encourage and praise effort - I remember hearing about a research project where children were given puzzles beyond their abilities. Some of the children were excited and asked if the researchers would give their mothers the name of the manufacturer so that...

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Parenting Problems?

Dr. Linda Hancock Home and Family Parenting The Eleventh Year

Parenting Problems?

I definitely do not blame parents for all the problems that they have with their children but, at the same time, realize that there are strategies parents could use to make the job easier. Unfortunately, in our society, we don't usually offer parenting courses until the problems have already begun. Here are a few things to consider: 1. It is not your job to keep your child happy - Often I see parents buying or doing things because they love to be a "hero" and see their child smile. Consider the reasons why you are indulging them? If your child...

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Your Child Has a Problem

Dr. Linda Hancock Home and Family Parenting The Tenth Year

Your Child Has a Problem

As a psychologist it is my job to help figure out the differences between can or can't and will or won't. Some parents might be worried about their children now that they have been in class for the past few weeks. Others will probably be shocked when they receive the first report card of the year. Maybe you haven't been paying enough attention or maybe your child has been conning you into believing that things are good. It may be a parenting problem: Why is your child late, missing or not prepared to learn? Perhaps they have not been doing...

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Ten Important Things To Teach Your Teen

Dr. Linda Hancock Home and Family Parenting The Ninth Year

Ten Important Things To Teach Your Teen

The word graduation is usually defined as the receiving or conferring of an academic degree or diploma. Most of us, however, use the term to refer to times in life when we have completed something of which we can be proud. Often a child graduates, leaves home and continues life in another location. As a parent, there are things that you can teach them before that day comes to help them throughout the rest of their lives. Be sure they know how to:   Greet people respectfully - I have never heard anyone complain when they are greeted by someone who...

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Helping Your Child Do Well In School

Dr. Linda Hancock Home and Family Parenting The Eighth Year

Helping Your Child Do Well In School

It's almost the end of the school year and many parents are concerned about whether their child will pass or be in the same grade for the fall. Worry will not help you or your child! You cannot change another person but you can do specific things that may positively change the academic future for your son or daughter. Following are a few tips to get both of you on the right track:   Don't blame the school for everything - Teachers get into their profession because they care about children and want to help them to learn. If a child...

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The Difficult Role of Parenting

Dr. Linda Hancock Home and Family Parenting The Eighth Year

The Difficult Role of Parenting

For years I have had parents come to me asking about how they can change their children or improve their own parenting skills. Unfortunately, they often have the illusion that they can control their children and therefore orchestrate the choices the young ones make in order to ensure that their own goals for the child are met. The truth is that you cannot control another person and if you think that you can it will only lead to feelings of frustration and disappointment. As the child ages and continues to make choices that seem unacceptable to the parents, it can...

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You Are the Role-Model

Dr. Linda Hancock Home and Family Parenting The Seventh Year

You Are the Role-Model

Children learn from those around them. What are you saying? Do you tend to use threats with your children that everyone, including you, knows that you will never act upon? Saying things like "I will never bring you to the store again" will not, in the long term, be taken seriously by your child and will certainly, over time, erode any respect for you that you'd hope to receive. Raising your voice on a regular basis will likely cause fear when first heard but may eventually result in others tuning you out while you go hoarse. Are you using the...

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Helping Your Child to Finish Well

Dr. Linda Hancock Home and Family Parenting The Seventh Year

Helping Your Child to Finish Well

It's the beginning of June and only a few weeks until students will be facing a summer of leisure. For some, it will be the end of their formal academic life. Others will be preparing for exams and still others are at the beginning or middle of their rise in the system. No matter what grade level they are at, the choices and behaviours of June will have consequences or rewards that can affect the rest of your child's life. The differences between passing and failing, average and excellence are not as large as people think. As a parent, there...

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Talking to Your Kids About Drug Addiction

Dr. Linda Hancock Home and Family Parenting The Sixth Year

Talking to Your Kids About Drug Addiction

Parents have many responsibilities and one of them is to ensure that communication about difficult subjects occurs. Because of the easy access to street drugs, it is therefore important that you are able to provide the education and environment to talk that will protect your child from using and becoming dependent. Following are some tips to help you with this process: Start early - Unfortunately children are exposed to the idea of drug use through movies, technology and media. Sometimes the lives of people who children view as "heroes" in society are using drugs and their behaviours can therefore easily be...

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Back to School Advice!

Dr. Linda Hancock Home and Family Parenting The Sixth Year

Back to School Advice!

As the new school year approaches there are some parents who will be sad to see the summer fun end and others who are counting the sleeps until everything gets back into a routine. Preparing your child for the re-entry into school is important and there are several things that you, as the parent, can do to help things get off on the best foot:   Get the proper school supplies - Now you don't have to buy everything new but you do need to ensure that your child has what the teacher recommends. Try having a scavenger hunt and...

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Parenting Challenges: I'm Bored!

Dr. Linda Hancock Home and Family Parenting The Sixth Year

Parenting Challenges: I'm Bored!

My daughter, her family and I were standing by the concession booths at the Medicine Hat Stampede when my seventeen year old grandson announced "I'm bored!" I just couldn't believe it! We had gone through the pavilions, watched Clint Black and attended the Friday rodeo. Wrist bands for Saturday provided opportunity to ride in the midway all day. Our tummies were full and he was bored! I asked "What would you like to do?" and the reply was "I don't know". So often children and teens talk about being bored and I have been thinking about what they are really...

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What Is a Parenting Coordinator?

Dr. Linda Hancock Home and Family Parenting

What Is a Parenting Coordinator?

Many times parents go through a divorce and then have ongoing problems because of their strong emotions, inability to plan together or poor communication skills. They might repeatedly return to lawyers and Court hoping that the underlying issues that cause their problems will be resolved. Unfortunately, appearing before a judge might not give them the results that they desire. A judge does not have much time to review the necessary history and is not usually trained in the issues that may have to do with personalities or entrenched patterns of behaviours. A decision might be made but the relationship issues...

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What to Do If Your Baby Won't Stop Crying

Dr. Linda Hancock Home and Family Parenting

What to Do If Your Baby Won't Stop Crying

Parenting can be a daunting task that takes time and wisdom. Unfortunately, there are very few people who enter into this noble role with either training or extensive experience. Because babies cannot talk, one of the ways that they use to communicate with others is by crying. I remember when, as a young woman, I gave birth to my first child. We were living in the basement suite of an older couple who kind of took us under their wings. Mae, the experienced grandmother, told me "Babies will be happy if you keep their tummy full and their bottoms dry:....

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Where There's A Will There's an "A"

Dr. Linda Hancock Home and Family Parenting The Sixth Year

Where There's A Will There's an "A"

When my children were young I ordered an educational program to help them with their grades. The workshop was presented by a parent, Professor Claude Olney, who had done a lot of research about learning in an attempt to help his own children. As a result, he was asked by other parents and students to begin doing training sessions. Last fall I was thinking about this experience and thought that it would be wonderful if I had the course for my grandchildren. I went on the internet and sure enough, found a website where the original training was offered in...

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I Just Want This to Be Over

Dr. Linda Hancock Divorce Home and Family Parenting Relationships The Fifth Year

I Just Want This to Be Over

Often when I am working with people who are going through a divorce they repeatedly say "I just want it to be over". I think they wish that the person who they married was a figure on a chalkboard that they could just erase from their lives with a few strokes of the brush. Even if they have reconciled in the past, I hear stories of how inappropriate the other person was as a partner and as a parent. The one who they had so passionately fallen for in the beginning and lived with for years suddenly is the hated...

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Does Your Child Think You Are an ATM?

Dr. Linda Hancock Home and Family Parenting The Fifth Year

Does Your Child Think You Are an ATM?

I believe that one of the greatest sins of modern society is that people hardly ever touch money. They use debit and credit cards, write cheques, pay bills electronically and send gift cards - but seldom touch or use cash. I remember going to a cashier in a large department store and laying the item I wanted to purchase along with the money to cover the cost of it on the counter. The young employee told me that I had to use a credit card because she didn't know how to accept cash in a transaction. Another time I made...

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What Do Your Adult Children Need?

Dr. Linda Hancock Home and Family Parenting Relationships The Fifth Year

What Do Your Adult Children Need?

I was recently visiting with another professional in the community who teased me about wanting pro bono services for his staff. I quickly informed him that everyone wants free therapy - except my adult children! My daughter keeps jokingly threatening to write a book entitled "My life as the child of a psychologist". It seems that she believes her situation is a unique one but, after seeing over 7000 clients, I am convinced that many adult children think their relationships with their parents are unique. Some parents think that they need to take responsibility for their adult children and, as...

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My Child is Failing in School!

Dr. Linda Hancock Home and Family Parenting The Fifth Year

My Child is Failing in School!

We are in the last few weeks before the end of the school year and it isn't too late to help your child finish well! It's difficult to find a spelling test with a large red "F" in the backpack or hear from a teacher that your child is not passing math but, as a parent, you are responsible. Oh, I've heard lots of parents abdicate from the process claiming "It's not my responsibility. I've told the child what to do and if he fails, then he's the one who suffers". Sorry, but I just don't agree. The reason God...

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Your Child and Technology

Dr. Linda Hancock Home and Family Parenting The Fifth Year

Your Child and Technology

Often I hear parents state that they are frustrated because their children are always using their computers, game boxes or other technology instead of doing the things the parents feel they should be doing. It's easy for children to get tied up in the mesmerizing effects of technology that is specifically designed to capture their attention. In fact, technology can be addictive! As the parent you need to know and do specific things in order to protect your family and children from the lure of the technological world: 1. Computers are often needed for homework but the child likely isn't...

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A Bird's Eye View!

Dr. Linda Hancock Home and Family Parenting The Fifth Year

A Bird's Eye View!

One of my clients who has a disability never leaves her house except to come to her appointments with me. I asked her what she does with all the hours during the day and she told me about a website that has captured her attention. There is a seven year old hummingbird in Santa Ana California that has for several years been building nests in a rosebush six feet above the ground. The owner of the property set up a webcam in 2007 and has been broadcasting live video of her activities over the internet for the past three years....

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Your Loss When You Argue with Your Child!

Dr. Linda Hancock Home and Family Parenting The Fifth Year

Your Loss When You Argue with Your Child!

This past month I have spent two weeks with my children and six grandchildren. For one of those weeks I was the sole caregiver for my 15 year old and 10 year old grandsons whose parents had travelled to Maui. Even though they had been "warned" that I meant what I said, there were several times that I was asked "Are you serious?" At first they didn't believe it when I said that anyone who was in the vehicle by 8 a.m. could have a ride to school and those who didn't make it could walk. "Are you serious?" they...

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3 Things You Can Do With Your Children That Will Enhance Their Lives and Yours

Dr. Linda Hancock Home and Family Parenting The Fourth Year

3 Things You Can Do With Your Children That Will Enhance Their Lives and Yours

Parenting is about knowing and helping to meet the needs of the child while teaching them independence. At the same time, however, it also involves teaching your child or children how to work together for the benefit of the whole family. There are several things that you can do as a parent to achieve these goals: 1. Cook together. Many of my young adult clients are petrified about how they will survive when they leave home because they have never learned to shop or cook. When you take your children to the grocery store to buy ingredients for recipes that...

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Parenting - Your Child is NOT Your Friend!

Dr. Linda Hancock Home and Family Parenting The Fourth Year

Parenting - Your Child is NOT Your Friend!

When individuals come to see me about parenting issues, I am often surprised to hear them state that they initially had children because they never felt loved. They go on to explain that they figured that if they had a child they would finally have someone to love them. Other parents have told me that the most important thing in the world for them is to have a friendship with their child. Parenting requires that the adult is available and willing to meet the needs of the child in a healthy way. It is not up to the child to...

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Parenting - 5 Things You Can Do This Christmas to Keep Your Sanity

Dr. Linda Hancock Christmas Holidays Home and Family Parenting

Parenting - 5 Things You Can Do This Christmas to Keep Your Sanity

Christmas can be a busy and stressful time for individuals. Children become extremely excited as their expectations increase and their parents often become more and more tired as the demands of the season increase. There are five specific things you can do to enjoy this Christmas even more than you might have in the past: 1. Get enough sleep - I tell my clients that I am just like a baby. If I don't eat or sleep - I cry. Sleep is important for children and their parents. Maintaining a regular schedule that includes appropriate bedtimes will help everyone to...

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