Articles — New Articles(14)

Is water good or bad?   It depends on what you do with it.   You can wash your hair, have a drink or drown in it.

Is fire good or bad?   It depends on what you do with it.   You can cook your meal, heat your home or burn your house down with it.

A few years ago, I had the thrill of visiting Washington, D.C.   A “Hop-on-hop off” tram took me around the city while the driver served as tour guide.   What a thrill to see the places that I had only viewed previously on television.   I went to Congress, the Ford Theatre (where President Lincoln was shot), the Lincoln Memorial and stood in front of the White House.

It is almost impossible to stage a traditional Valentine’s Day outing when everyone is locked up or wearing masks and distancing at least six feet apart.   The days of fancy dinners in exotic locations are out of reach.   But that doesn’t mean that you can’t enjoy and show love if you are willing to be creative and wise. Let’s examine the three psychological aspects of love: Thoughts – So many times I have been touched by individuals who tell me that they have been thinking about me.   What a compliment!   Someone who invests time and energy into reviewing memories or...

When I was a child my grandmother would only call us on Sundays because that is when long distance rates were lowest.  My other grandparents had an old phone on the wall that required an operator to make connections.   Things have changed! We went from party lines where four or five families could listen in on each other’s conversations.   It was important to respect unwritten rules to not interrupt for thirty minutes before asking to clear the line so you could make a call. Then came the rotary dial.   When your finger slipped, you had to start over again. Next...

Recently I noticed a huge, heavy box on a high shelf in my storage room.   Because it wasn’t labelled I had absolutely no idea what was in it.  How shocked I was once it was at ground level to realize what was inside. There were several hundred greeting cards.   Some were from various birthdays and graduations that I had over the years.    Many were sympathy cards that had arrived after the death of my mother.   A leather pouch that was embossed with “Important Documents” contained wills and insurance policies from my dad who died in 1979.   There were newspaper clippings,...

Often, I tell my clients about the five emotions that act like cousins as they come in groups: Fear – Often this emotion is difficult to identify or to acknowledge. There is an old expression that states, “Big boys don’t cry”.   Those with a military background are hesitant to show weakness and despite the traumatic experiences they have had, usually don’t even want to talk about how afraid they were.  Some people are afraid that they won’t be liked or loved.   They let fear walk them into horrible circumstances where their needs are sacrificed.   Others are afraid to start something...

December is usually a very busy month for me, but this year was probably the craziest yet!  The fact that I have been working from home for nine months meant a lot of changes.   My dining room table has become my office center and each chair has specific filing bins with forms that I use.  Yes, I am from the days of yore when everything has been and still takes a paper format.  New software allows me to see my clients on a secure platform that has expanded the “reach” for all of us.  No more driving, parking or waiting...

We have had quite a year!   No one ever could ever have predicted the way that our whole world would change in a matter of just a few months.   Each of us thinks that our circumstances are so unusual and have never happened before. I have been thinking a lot about Mary, the mother of Jesus, and how she experienced so many parallels to us.  She must have felt similar to how we are feeling.   Ponder this: Shock – Imagine the shock when this teenaged girl found out that she was pregnant and yet hadn’t been with a man. We...

Over the years I have met so many people who are blessed in every area of life but, at the same time, state they are miserable.  They do not have to worry about finances.   They enjoy good health and loving relationships.   They live in safe and secure environments that are filled with everything anyone could want.   Yet they are miserable! On the other hand, I have also met many people who have very little and yet they are filled with joy.   Some struggle with health issues.  Others have nothing materialistically.  They might not have career options and don’t even know...

There is an old expression that states: “Experience is what you wish was happening to the other guy!”.  None of us like to go through difficult times. Everyone states they want to enjoy good health but really don’t want to invest the time and energy needed to embrace it.  Finding the motivation to exercise can be an ongoing battle.  We know that going to a gym or taking a long walk when we have been sedentary, will cause sore muscles!  Learning to cook and planning menus will provide good, nutritious meals that actually are less expensive than eating out or...

I am way beyond the magic number that is generally considered retirement age.   Often people ask me why I continue to work.   There isn’t just one answer to that question.   You may want to consider the following ideas when you are planning your own retirement: Satisfaction – I love my work and my clients!! Whether I am providing therapy, writing articles, or teaching seminars, I look forward to each workday.   My clients challenge me to help them develop strategies to improve their lives and also keep me informed about the changes they are experiencing in society.  Milton Garland who was...

When I was young our family used to love to go to Katepwa Lake for holidays. My uncle had a beautiful boat with a sixty-horsepower motor and all my cousins enjoyed water skiing behind it. The problem was that no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t seem to get up out of the water! I remember the morning of my nineth birthday. The sun was shining, and the water was as smooth as glass. First thing I asked my uncle if I could try once again to ski. He agreed. After carefully tying on the life jacket, I got...

This fall a documentary called “The Social Dilemma” began airing on Netflix.   In it former employees of large technology companies are interviewed and tell about how their work initially appeared to be helpful for society but later, because of its impact, led them to resign from their positions. Actors who are portraying a family in this show, have different ways of interacting with social media.  A teenage son, who is constantly online is challenged to not touch his phone for a week and, if successful, would receive a new screen to replace the one that is broken.  Unfortunately, the notifications...

Over the years I have had the privilege of working with many Veterans and they have taught me so much about the sacrifices they made for our freedom.   I used to be in awe of the courage that our military displayed in very traumatic situations that I frankly would not have attempted.  More recently, however, I have come to realize that one of the most significant impacts on their lives was the need to adjust several times in order to fulfill their roles. We have likely all heard or seen military recruitment materials that offer an opportunity for those who...