Articles — 11. The Eleventh Year(47)

Often people are shocked when they hear that I love to travel alone. Some state that they would be afraid to do this while others imply that they just don't think they would enjoy the trip without having people accompany them. Well, there are several advantages to going solo: Planning is much easier. You just think about where you would like to visit and start researching your options. You can open an email with flight offers and book whatever grabs your attention at the time without having to consult or compromise. 2. Travelling is more flexible. If you miss a...

In August, I decided that I needed a rest! My son suggested that I go to a spa. I really wanted to go where I had never been before and told him that one of my goals had been to go to Amish country. Everything that I had read about the culture seemed inviting and I thought that I would benefit from the relaxing style and simplicity of being around their simple and relaxing culture. Coincidentally, I had also been working on my family tree and was intrigued by the fact that my fifth great-grandfather, Conrad Eichelberger, had immigrated to...

Every week we receive at least one call from someone who wants me to help their friend, partner or relative. They are surprised when we explain that there are certain things that are important: 1. The other person has to be willing. Unfortunately, no matter how dysfunctional we think that a person or situation is, people never change until life doesn't work for them anymore. You can have the best of intentions and think that things would be better if the other person just did this or that or the other thing. It has to be their idea - not...

        . The last four months have not been very typical for me In June I saw all six of my grandchildren even though they live in three different provinces and are each busy with jobs, school and activities. We celebrated the birthdays of each just because we were together despite the date on the calendar at the time. We had fun! In July, five of my first cousins got together in Regina for a family wedding. There are so few of us and there aren't that many weddings in society anymore so it was really special!...

Over the years I have signed contracts to provide therapy for British and Canadian soldiers as well as veterans. Because of this, I have become much more aware of the sacrifices made by the men and women who have fought to obtain and maintain freedom for us. Many service members experience situations that lead to life-long consequences:1. PHYSICAL INJURY - Marching or walking for hours in poor conditions can result in knee and foot problems. Driving tanks can cause ongoing back and hip pain. Traumatic Brain Injury, loss of hearing and serious burns can occur when one is near explosions....

It's December and we are surrounded with reminders that the Christmas season is before us. Outdoor lights on businesses and houses seem to have magically appeared from nowhere. Christmas tree lots have opened. Mailboxes are filled with flyers with the hopes that shoppers will be tempted to purchase items from their pages. And all around us are the sounds of seasonal music. Television commercials use soundtracks that we recognize from our childhood. We know the words to the tunes played and sung at the numerous concerts and events that we will attend over the next few weeks. We search our...

We Three Kings of Orient are; bearing gifts we traverse afar... In 1857 Reverend John Henry Hopkins, Jr. who was an author, book illustrator, stained glass window designer, clergyman and editor of the New York Church Journal wrote this carol for a pageant. The lyrics tell the story of three magi or wise men named Caspar, Melchior, and Balthasar who set out on a long journey with gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh for the baby Jesus. Over the years there have been many debates about whether this carol is accurate in its details. Were there only three wise men?...

Silent Night. Holy Night. All is calm. All is bright. The First World War lasted from 1914 to 1919. A very strange situation was witnessed in the early months - one had never occurred before or since. On Christmas Eve British, Belgian and French soldiers as well as enemy German troops were in cold, wet trenches on the western front where they had been fighting each other. Suddenly, someone began to sing! And within minutes the voices multiplied each in their own native language. The singing continued and soon soldiers put down their rifles, came out of the trenches and...

Midnight on December 31 does not occur at the same moment across the globe. In fact, depending on the time zone involved, ending one year and welcoming the next can even be on different days. When and how you will celebrate is your choice. You do not need to have an expensive plan or unrealistic expectations. Following are some suggestions to help you feel safe and happy on New Year's Eve:1. Determine that you will maintain good boundaries to protect yourself and your values despite the situation or condition of others.2. Consider the fact that you can plan a wonderful...

God rest ye merry gentlemen, let nothing you dismay... No one knows who wrote these lyrics but it is believed that they originated in the sixteenth century when bands travelled around London singing in taverns. The first publication was in 1833 and since then, people in different countries have adopted this carol as part of their traditional celebrations at Christmastime. The word "dismay" is not one that we usually use in everyday conversation. It means "distress". There are more contemporary ways of stating "Let nothing you dismay". One day, for example, when I was in a bit of a panic...

The age of information and technology go hand in hand. There is very little need anymore for a hard-covered dictionary if you have a computer. You can order all of your gifts in a matter of minutes without even leaving the house and even have them delivered to the recipient free of charge. There isn't any need to wait for two weeks to receive snail mail from across the globe when you can instantly send and receive text messages. Yes, the computer and internet have significantly changed the way that we live and communicate. But computers are just a tool...

It is interesting to think about how many people do not have a clear sense of who they are.  They depend on the opinions of others who they allow to shape their self-image and determine their behaviours.  Well, there are several different types of people who influence others: The unnamed – Sometimes people state that they are afraid of a group called “they”. “They might think I am stupid” or “They might not like it if I do this”.  The person who refers to “they” as being authorities is bound by fear of not being accepted by anyone.  But most people...

Often people tell me that they read my articles and wonder how I know what they are going through. They think that perhaps someone has told me about their situation or that I have some kind of magical powers that gave me insight into their troubles. Well, you can relax. I have been writing articles for this column for almost twelve years and have never based any article on one person. In fact, most of them were written without me having any particular person in mind. After having seen over 7,000 clients, though I have found that there are some...

I grew up in an age when rural Saskatchewan doctors made house calls. They also did hospital rounds and ran a clinic. They usually knew their patients well because they delivered many of them. Lab work and x-rays were done in one location - at the local hospital. Specialists were almost unheard of and that meant that the local doctor needed to deal with pretty well everything. Things have changed so much! Now clinics have huge waiting lists of people who do not have a family physician. Those who are ill and do not have a family physician often end...

Five years ago, my youngest son, Mark, was managing a large trucking company in Saskatoon. The work was demanding. He didn't think he was in a career. Because of his obvious passion for helping people his friends told him that he should be a mediator. Mark called me to discuss his options and I recommended that he enter a profession where he could be licensed. Mediators do not have a regulatory body and licensing is therefore not possible. After several months of thought, Mark decided he wanted to follow in my footsteps and become a Registered Psychologist. I didn't want...

So many people have regrets. They feel sad, guilty or disappointed about the way things turned out and blame themselves for doing or not doing something that would have resulted in a different outcome. Their lives are tainted by thoughts of the past and "what if". Regrets can be about the choices that they made regarding their career or partner. Others involve losses or missed opportunities. A third group feel badly for words that were said or not said. The past, of course, cannot be changed but there are things that can be done to resolve issues and/or hurts: 1....

Often I hear clients state "I just don't trust him (her)". My response is "To do what?" 1. Assumptions - You might have thoughts that a thing is certain to happen when you don't have any proof that it will. Your assumptions might be either negative or positive. You may expect that the worst will happen and then waste time and effort in the process of worrying. On the other hand, you may expect a good thing will occur and then, when it doesn't, realize that you have lost time waiting. 2. Expectations - You are never disappointed unless you...

Well, it's time for a new school term. Most parents and grandparents think that it is up to a child to do well in class and on their report cards. They often don't recognize, however, how their own actions contribute to the child's progress. Here are some things that you can do to help your child succeed: 1. Encourage and praise effort - I remember hearing about a research project where children were given puzzles beyond their abilities. Some of the children were excited and asked if the researchers would give their mothers the name of the manufacturer so that...

I must be getting old! When I am in a room full of individuals who don't know what I mean when I say telephone party-line, I Love Lucy, or outhouse then I am reminded of the fact that I have been around for a while. This spring my thirteen year old grandson Jordan was doing a school project on immigration and because my grandfather came to Canada as an eleven-year-old orphan he phoned me for help. I was surprised at how many concepts I had to explain and/or spell for him because he just didn't understand. Try explaining what stooking grain,...

Each year we celebrate Labour Day in a number of countries. For most of us, it is merely a long weekend that signals the end of the summer season. Its roots, however, were ones that involved struggle. In Toronto in the mid eighteen hundreds there was a new industrialized economy where machines began to replace employees. Workers lost their power and therefore faced long working hours, poor benefits and deplorable working conditions. This situation led to a need for solidarity by the workers. They began staging protests and parades that were attended by crowds of up to 10,000 supporters.Over time,...

Now that it is fall and we are thinking about bringing in the crops and garden produce I thought we could consider the parallels between harvest and life. Ancient scripture has provided us with specific laws to help us make wise and healthy choices. 1. We reap only what has been sown - We cannot expect a crop to grow without it being seeded. There is an expression that states "There is no free lunch" and that applies to all aspects of life including farming. You cannot expect to have a crop if you haven't bothered to plant any seeds...

I am surprised by the number of people who tell me that they don't like being alone. Often, as a result, they end up in relationships with people who are abusive, negligent or just plain selfish. This is so sad as there are many things that can be done to solve the loneliness situation. The most important is to make sure that you don't just passively accept loneliness. Do something! 1. Have a sleep - Most people are more emotional and make the worst decisions when they are tired. Things always look better in the morning after a good rest. 2....

Most of the generations who came before me are gone now. Only my mother's younger sister who is 88 years old remains. Aunt Amber lives in a senior's residence in Regina and in July I was able to spend the good part of a day with her. I was so touched by this encounter that I wanted to share parts of it with you as it was inspiring. 1. Attitude is everything - Aunt Amber surprised me with her answer to the question "How are you?" She said "I am almost blind, have hearing aids and need a walker now...

Over the years I would ask my grandchildren "What do I love more than you?" Without hesitation they would reply "The truth!" Even though this had occurred for more than a decade, one of my grandsons decided to confront me. He asked "You don't really mean that do you grandma? How can you love something more than me?" It sounded arrogant but he was really just puzzled because he was used to being treated as though he was so special and wonderful that this didn't make sense. My answer was "Of course I mean it because if you don't tell...

Research indicates that the longer someone is off work, the harder it is to go back to it. There are very good reasons why people might have to take a leave of absence but when it comes right down to it, work is one of the very best medicines for all of us. Work gives us a reason to get up in the morning. It gives us a place to go, people to talk with and a purpose. We are rewarded with a good tiredness and some coins to jingle. If you have been off work because of illness, grief,...